A few days ago, one of the babysitters I have employed a handful of times messaged requesting a reference. She had a good way with my daughter but I was mega busy. I did say I would try and do it at the weekend, though. (In fact as she was due to come that Saturday, so I thought I could always write it while she took care of my little one). Note: she was due. When I woke up, I saw a message from the babysitter that was something along these lines:
‘Sorry but I can’t make it today. When your daughter is in my care I’d like to provide her with the best care and attention but I’m exhausted. I did tell you this would probably happen though, so it’s ok, isn’t it?’
I felt like going off on a rant, saying; “No it isn’t ok. Why didn’t you just say you definitely wouldn’t come rather than yes then no then yes? Exhausted? If you become a mum, you’ll know what exhausted really means. Going out to an event or a club until the wee hours does not mean exhaustion. Night after night of broken sleep, holding down a full-time job (especially in the early days) and looking after a little one on your own with no family support causes exhaustion. But I’m ok, I keep going. Out of the three times you came, one you almost let me down on (hummed and hawed until 8:30 pm the night before). I put ‘reliable babysitters only’ on my ad, and you’re clearly not. I will not be writing you a reference”
Instead I simply said I would not require her services any more and wished her well. I honestly do. I won’t be writing a reference though!