Dating: a Worthwhile Challenge or Waste of Time?

Are men lazy or have things changed? Why do I say that? From my recent experiences as I started to dabble in the world of dating again…  Shouldn’t men make an effort? At least to start with?

First of all, I don’t have much time as a single mum, in full-time employment, but secondly, as I grew up when it was customary for men to make the running. Isn’t it nice to have someone do the running? Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t mean I am against women making the first move, indeed the last man I dated started off with me asking him out for a curry…

So what happened?

After our initial date, we met up once a month for a meal out. I have to say, I really enjoyed it- he was good company and there’s nothing heavy duty about dinner. In between it would have been nice to have more messages; in fact dinner twice a month might have been nice. In the end though, rather than him saying over dinner : ‘We don’t talk much in between dates; I want something more.’ I got a WhatsApp saying we don’t talk much and this wasn’t his idea of a relationship!

Online dating

I tried ‘Match’ once, some time ago, but it meant lots of dates, only to find the guys were nothing like their bios. Besides, too many ruled out women in their age bracket (I mean please, what’s that about?! We don’t all wear badly!) I decided it wasn’t worth paying to do that again and saw an ad for an App – for people in my age bracket. Perfect. Maybe. I uploaded a picture and suddenly got ‘a member wants to meet you’ messages in my inbox. “Seriously?” I asked myself. You know nothing about me. I opened the App to see what was going on. What is was is, if you swipe yes or no to a picture and then that person gets a ‘Y wants to meet you’ message. Ok, so they are just using the App, not necessarily being shallow.

I added some stuff in my Bio. ‘You’ve got a message from Mr Z’. “Great,” I thought. I opened the messages (there were lots in the end) and what do I see? A heart or a smiley face (or in one cases strawberries.) I tried to respond to the strawberries- at least they had made an effort to be a bit different but was told I needed to pay. No thanks- I wasn’t sure any of them were worth it; time to update my Bio. In summary, I wrote they should write me a message if interested and I could only respond to paid-up Premium members. I am still just getting hearts. Can they not be bothered to read to the bottom of my Bio or do they expect me to pay to message them? I think I’ll just delete the App! Maybe I’m just not ready for dating yet..




Lucy At Home UK parenting blogger

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11 replies
  1. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Thanks. That’s kind of why it’s not worth bothering too. Will focus on my daughter and save my time.

  2. Michelle Kellogg
    Michelle Kellogg says:

    I have been there with this stuff. The dating game has changed significantly since my maiden days and I have been called old fashioned for wanting to meet people in person and have an actually conversation. I also seem to keep ending up with 20-somethings who want a sugar mama and want to be taken care of. No thanks! I am much happier just me and my kids. I actually love being single and despite the fact that there are more single people in the world today than ever before, it seems to be an unpopular notion to be happy being single. But I’m good. I think like you, I’m just not ready and I don’t think I’ll be ready for a long time. I am just happy doing me right now and focusing on my children. #LGRTStumble

  3. Melissa
    Melissa says:

    Lovely to hear you’re perfectly happy on your own and doing just fine.
    Definitely don’t want to be a sugar mama either!

  4. daydreams of a mum
    daydreams of a mum says:

    Oh I feel your pain here. I tried online dating for a little while and all I learnt was I just do not have the patience for it. Way too much like hard work and it really shouldn’t be right??? Hope Mr Perfect pops along soon (without the need for swiping !!! #blogcrush

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